Pathos
by Monamourz
Summary: Romano, struggling to support his brother and himself financially, goes for a walk on the beach. Where his world is promptly turned upside down when he meets a merman whose name he can't pronounce.
1. Chapter 1

Romano came storming home at six in the evening and saw his brother on the couch with his bastard of a boyfriend, Ludwig. They were watching a movie. "_You_!" he roared, pointing in dire accusation at Feliciano.

"Eek! Ludwig, _fratello_ is scary!" Feliciano squeaked, and he dove behind Ludwig. Romano charged forward to attack him but was held at bay by Ludwig, who was kind of like a tank and had no trouble restraining an enraged Italian.

At least, he didn't until Romano punched his kneecap in with a well-placed kick. Groaning in pain, he released Romano, who dragged his brother up from where he was cowering on the couch and glared at him. "Why. Weren't. You. At. WORK!" He screeched.

Feliciano began to cry and babble. "I got off school and Ludwig drove me home and then I had to make him pasta as thanks and then we cuddled on the couch while we ate it and then we began to watch a good movie and-"

"You're going to get fired! I had to say you broke your leg! Feliciano, you can't keep doing this!"

"Wait, you had work today?" Ludwig asked from the floor. "Feliciano, you told me you had the week off."

"Veee," wailed Feliciano, wringing his hands, "I didn't mean to lie! I didn't! I didn't!"

Romano dropped his brother and sank down on the couch beside him, head in hands. "Feliciano, money is tight. You know grandpa didn't leave us a lot when he vanished. We need to work so we can pay off this house!"

Feliciano moved over to cling to him and began to weep apologies. Romano gently pushed him off and stood up. "I'm going for a walk along the beach," he mumbled.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Feli asked brightly, but he wilted back down on the couch when Romano shook his head. "Ve, Mano, I really am sorry…" he said regretfully.

Romano shrugged. "Just be more involved from now on in your job." As he left the house, he heard Ludwig beginning to lecture his brother and he rolled his eyes. Feli would start crying, Ludwig would feel bad, and they would cuddle. That was the way it always worked.

The house their grandfather had bought them before he had vanished a year and a half ago was right on the seashore, and Romano loved taking walks. Now was no exception. He walked along the sand for a few miles, thinking hard about finances and how he could balance them. A second job, perhaps, and if he cut down on food and electricity use…he was still in thought when he got to a dock that jutted out of the sand. Without really thinking about it, he wandered up the steps and walked out to the edge, where he dangled his feet over the edge and stared into the green water, now calculating now long a shower he could take to use the least amount of money but still get clean.

He stopped thinking about that when he saw a flash of gold underneath the water, and a few ripples formed. There was a few seconds of nothing happening, and then he caught the shadowy outline of a tail. A freaking enormous tail.

Romano stared. The water at the end of the dock rippled again, and he began to wonder exactly how large the fish that was circling him was. A flash of scales and he narrowed his eyes – this fish was fucking _huge_. Why was it circling the dock…?

And then Romano watched in shock as a human face surfaced from the water. It was quickly followed by two hands that reached out to grip the dock's edge and haul the rest of the body higher up, until the man's arms were resting on the edge of the dock and his face was peering over them, looking inquisitive.

Romano couldn't help it – with a screech of shock, he snatched up the gun he always carried in his pocket and brandished it at the person.

There was a loud splash as said person vanished and he rushed forward, catching a shimmer of scales before the water receded back into a foamy green. Then, after a moment, the face reappeared, but this time it stayed below water. Romano gaped at it, open-mouthed, but when he made no further threatening movement the man hesitantly came back up in the air. This time, he wound his arms around one of the dock's wooden legs and clung to it, staring silently back at Romano.

His eyes were one of the first things Romano noticed. They were almost violently blue, but the iris seemed to be constantly changing and it was impossible to pin down one shade. The man's hair was a dirty blonde, dark from saturation and swept across his forehead in a tangled mess. He was slightly darker than Romano; his skin color seemed closest to honey, a faint golden hue that glowed warmly.

Also noticeable was the faint, shimmering trail of scales that started down the creature's side and seemed to become more numerous as they got further down. The bottom half of the man was hidden in the ocean, but Romano was already getting an idea of what he might see were the man to reveal more of himself.

"What…" he breathed in astonishment, gun still clenched in one hand in case the man made any threatening moves. The being pressed closer to the dock when he spoke and watched him uncertainly, looking nervous.

Then… "I can English," the man said carefully, and let go of the dock's leg to swim directly under Romano's astonished face. "I can hold," he added, gesturing up at the dock's edge. "Don't hurt?"

Romano, almost uncomprehending, stepped back a little; seconds later, hands gripped the dock's edge and the man had pulled himself back up and was bracing himself with his arms, resting his chin on them to stare at Romano. Carefully, Romano edged a little bit to the side and glanced down.

He dropped the gun in shock. A long, golden tail hung from the man – _merman's_ – waist, completely encrusted with scales. He caught other colors on the tail as well but couldn't tell what they were, as most of the tail was still hidden in the water. "You're a mermaid," he managed finally.

"Amn't!" The man – mermaid – mythical being stared indignantly at Romano. "Am male," the thing added contemptuously, and let go of the dock with one hand to run his other hand down his chest. Romano felt his face heat up and, as he sputtered in shock, the thing continued, "No breasts! Male," looking rather pleased with himself. "Am Axlaphreud," he added brightly.

"…Axelfraud," Romano tried, but he tripped over the bizarre syllables and wound up blushing and muttering curses at his failure.

The merman grinned at him. "Axlaphreud," he repeated, but Romano physically couldn't wrap the word around his tongue – he couldn't say say an 'xl' and it threw the whole damn word off.

"Axelfred," he attempted. The merman looked displeased; Romano hastily tried again. "A…Alfred," he finally managed, and the merman brightened.

"Works!" he agreed, and tilted his head at Romano. "You?"

"I'm Romano," Romano announced, and then paused and wondered exactly what the hell was going on, because he was talking to a damn _mermaid_. "I…how are you real?"

Alfred stared at him. "How are you real?" He questioned back. It was strange listening to him; his voice was without any inflection and he obviously only had a tenacious grip on the English language.

"Because I'm a damn human, so I'm allowed to be real! You're a myth!" Romano insisted. Alfred looked insulted.

"Am in front of you," he reasoned petulantly. "Not myth." There was a pause where Romano stared at him suspiciously. Then Alfred muttered something that sounded strangely like '_your _face_ is myth_' under his breath, but Romano couldn't be sure, and anyway that was an awfully low insult for a merperson to sink to.

"How old are you?" He finally asked, because he had so many questions he couldn't get them all out in an orderly fashion.

Alfred shrugged. "Young. Younger than most. Maybe sixty six _ferhandis_?"

"That made absolutely no sense," Romano snapped. "What the hell is a fur-hand-whatever?"

"Would be about six hundred years for you," Alfred said, like it was no big deal, and then he inched upwards a little more and stared in fascination at Romano's feet. "Can see?" He asked, pointing at them.

Romano stared suspiciously again, but Alfred seemed genuinely curious and Romano wanted to know more about him, so he inched hesitantly closer while he asked more questions. "Are there more of you?"

"Yes. Clans," Alfred said absently, eyes fixed on Romano's feet that shuffled closer. "Mostly avoid humans now. Too tricky, mean, hateful. Get hurt around humans."

Romano got within reach and Alfred's hand whipped out to touch his ankle. Romano, instinctively, jumped backwards, but then contained himself and moved forward again. "Have you ever met a human before?"

"No. Leader wouldn't let me. Said were rude. Ran away," Alfred added happily, and reached for Romano's ankle again, although slower this time. "Saw you walking beach, followed you to here."

"How can you speak English?" Alfred's hand was cool and left a trail of glistening slime wherever he touched. It wasn't slime, though, more like a gel.

"Learned from Leader. Leader was taught by sailor once, long time ago. Sailor betrayed him, tried to cut his tail off. Hates people now." Alfred pulled Romano's foot up to inspect the underside. He hopped closer to the edge of the dock to oblige him.

"Where's the rest of your clan?"

Alfred shrugged and rotated Romano's big toe around, looking delighted with it. "Cold places. Arctic. Too cold, don't like. Like it in warm water better. What this is?" he tapped Romano's toenail and stared at him expectantly.

"Uh. What, sorry?"

"This!" Alfred tapped on his toenail harder and gave him a meaningful look. "This! What is?"

"Oh, a toenail? Uh, it's a…covering…for my toe."

"Like a scale?"

"Kind of. It's made of…erm…keratin, I guess, which is kind of a protein?" Damn it, he would've paid more attention in biology if he had known a mermaid was going to be quizzing him on what nails were. Alfred, however, looked satisfied and nodded.

"And this?"

Romano couldn't tell what he was pointing to, so he bent down to look. Several things happened simultaneously. Hands seized his hair and yanked, his feet were swept out from under him, and he went tumbling headfirst into the water. There were still hands tangled in his hair, dragging him down, and he fought against them, kicking and twisting, trying to keep his mouth closed to avoid drowning. He landed a solid kick whoever attacked him and they let go momentarily, long enough for him to kick away and break the surface, coughing and spluttering. Seconds later Alfred came surging out of the water beside him with an inhuman screech, his face twisted, and he landed on Romano and pushed him back underneath the water.

At which point Romano remembered why he never trusted anyone, and why he shouldn't have trusted Alfred most of all. Legends of mermaids came swarming back into his mind – beautiful women who attracted men and then dragged them down and drown them. Alfred wasn't a woman, but he certainly was beautiful, in an otherworldly sort of way, and he also seemed hellbent on dragging him down.

Romano squirmed free a second time, although he was beginning to weaken, and he smashed his fist blindly through the water, hitting something that felt like a face. At any rate Alfred darted away for a moment and Romano desperately struggled back to the surface, gasping for breath and flailing wildly for the dock. Somehow, in a burst of desperation, his hands caught the edge and he pulled himself up and over, rolling onto his side to pant and wheeze before he caught sight of his gun. _Perfect_.

Seizing it, he stumbled to his knees then his feet, and dragged himself back to the dock's edge. The water was perfectly still and glassy, not even a ripple marring the surface. It was almost _too_ perfect. Which was why Romano wasn't too surprised when Alfred erupted from nowhere with a snarl, his hands shooting out to grab Romano's ankles.

Romano kept his cool, narrowed his eyes, and fired a shot. Alfred retracted his arms with a squeal, his bare shoulder blossoming blood that rapidly slid down his smooth torso. Before he could fully retreat Romano fired again; this one caught Alfred in his side, and a pained yelp burst out of the merman's throat as his hand went down to cover the injury protectively. Romano would have fired a third time, but Alfred locked eyes with him, and the look of utter betrayal and pain in them stopped his finger on the trigger. Which was damn stupid, because the thing had just tried to kill him, but he stood frozen as Alfred whirled and jetted away, his smooth movements impeded by his wounds.

He stayed that way for a while, gun pointed at the water, eyes wide and unblinking, until he heard Feliciano calling him and he jerked his head up. His brother was a speck in the distance, shouting and waving his arms, but coming closer rapidly. Romano hastily pocketed the gun, took one last, lingering look at the water, and then ran down the length of the dock and strolled towards his brother, shouting at him to 'shut the hell up.'

He didn't go back to the beach for a month.

/Author's Notes:

Okay. So I don't really like chaptered fanfiction for several reasons. I write on my own time, I'm lazy as hell, and I get bored with them. Also, adding new chapters to stories confuses me. *technologically challenged*

But I just watched Pirates of the Caribbean 4, and one of my favorite parts was the mermaids. They were perfectly done, down to the fact that they're not all sweetness and light. And such is my brain hardwired that, when it was over, I was like "FANFICTION?" and then I was like "Oh God Romano and Alfred this would work perfectly" and so here we are, a chaptered fanfiction involving Mermaid!Alfred and Romano.

Teehee. Originally I was going to do a Romerica where Alfred is the son of an FBI agent and Romano is the grandson of a Mafia leader and they meet and fall in love but are starcrossed. But seriously, mermaids? I think yes. So if anyone else wants to give that other plotline a go…I would read it. Happily. :P (Actually, I think there's a book about that. My sister just informed me of it.)

Anyway, to try and prevent this from getting any longer…I will probably update sporadically, depending on my interest and time (I'm graduating!) but I WILL do my best to stick with it.

Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Romano stayed far, far away from the beach for a while. After a few weeks had past he had been able to convince himself it had probably been a very elaborate daydream. Still, he felt uneasy around the ocean, and he wasn't eager to repeat _imagining_ a merman trying to drown him, so he focused on earning money.

Feliciano appeared to have taken their desperate financial circumstance to heart…if taking it to heart meant only eating five bowls of pasta a day instead of nine and showing up for work at a vaguely responsible time. Romano knew Ludwig-the-Bastard was helping out, too, by reminding Feliciano of when he had to work and by inviting his boyfriend over to his house to eat. Then Romano got promoted, which was a huge help, and soon money was much less of a problem.

In fact, they began to have money left over, so Feliciano started dragging him out to 'have fun' with some of his friends. The group usually included but was not limited to Ludwig, his brother Gilbert (an albino who was notorious for getting completely smashed, doing a strip-tease on tabletops, and then taking home three or four girls and sleeping with them all in one go), Antonio (an air-headed farm boy who shared Romano's love of tomatoes and thought pretty much everything, from miniature cakes to Romano, was 'adorable') Francis (a perverted French bastard who swung both ways and dry-humped everything he could get his hands on or into), Arthur (a stuffy college student who couldn't hold his alcohol at all and usually wound up in tears when he went drinking. He tended to recite sad poetry and believed in mythical creatures) and Kiku (a Japanese computer nerd who rarely said anything but was often fiddling with or dismantling some device or another, and who had cried from embarrassment once when Gilbert tried putting his hands down his pants.) Out of them all, Romano hated Antonio the least, so he usually stuck with him when they went out to bars.

However, on this particular night, he found himself sitting next to a thoroughly sloshed Arthur, as Francis had taken Antonio and Gilbert off into a corner where they were all giggling and mostly hidden from view. Romano refused to go over once he realized he couldn't see Francis's hands at all and Gilbert was looking a little _too_ flushed, even though he'd only had a few beers. Arthur had stopped crying a few minutes ago and was nursing a shot glass and looking tragic.

"Er," Romano said uncomfortably, when Arthur sniffed deeply and looked expectantly at Romano. "How are things?"

"I'm doing a report on mermaids for college," Arthur announced. Romano's stomach lurched a little.

"That's a piss-poor subject for a report," he snorted, and Arthur immediately looked offended.

"Mermaids are extremely fascinating," he insisted. "They're portrayed so many different ways! Vicious, beautiful creatures, ugly feral women, sirens that suck you down into their nests and devour you…so many different types, you know?" he waved the shot glass around and looked enthusiastic.

"Oh," Romano said. For some reason, his mind didn't know when to leave well enough alone, and he asked, "So they have to be women?"

Arthur frowned. "I dunno. There are legends of men, I guess."

"Do you think the men would kill you too?"

"Well, that depen-"

"Wait, what if the men were still beautiful? Could the men still be beautiful but have other ways of luring you down? Like if one examined your feet, or something. Are they supposed to seem really nice and then try to kill you? I guess that would make sense, right? Like you start trusting them and then…" He trailed off when he became aware that Arthur was staring at him, looking a little confused. "What the hell is that look for?" he snapped, backtracking immediately.

"I, uh…you sure are curious." Arthur set his shot glass down and gave him a serious look. "Romano, have you seen a merperson recently?"

"The fuck?" Romano scrambled off the barstool, cheeks flaming red. "I have not! Don't project your freaky fantasies on me, you creep! I'm leaving before your stupidity becomes contagious or some shit."

He found Feliciano and told him he was going home early. Feliciano, who was half-supported on Ludwig while shrieking with laughter, immediately straightened up. "Do you want me to go home with you? Ludwig can walk us."

"Fuck no, everybody will think he's our pimp or something!" Romano snapped. "I think I can handle walking a few blocks to a bus stop."

"_Fratellllllo_, are you sure? I can walk with you, it isn't a problem!"

"I'm sure." Romano patted his brother on the head and glowered at Ludwig. "And you, bastard, get him home safe. I don't want him wandering around the streets trying to make friends at two in the morning."

After Ludwig's solemn promise to keep his brother in line, Romano caught a bus home. He had planned on sitting on the couch and brooding when he got home, but perked up when he overhead two women talking about how the huge storm two nights ago had thrown all sorts of artifacts up on the beach.

Except…the beach. Romano started chewing on his lower lip. It had been a daydream, right? Which meant avoiding the beach was kind of idiotic. And anyway, clearly he was well equipped to fend Alfred off.

_Except Alfred didn't fucking exist. _

Right. Okay, then. He would go down to the beach.

Romano decided it was a good idea almost right away, once he got there. The sand was warm from the sun, even though it was setting, and the ocean was at low tide, so the waves were gentle and soothing to hear. Plus, the women had been right; all sorts of things had been tossed up on the beach. Romano was partial to sea glass, which he found fascinating, and he started collecting it in his pocket as he meandered up the beach. He had spent maybe twenty minutes walking when he heard a low, but distinctive groan from the rocks to his right.

His reaction was instantaneous; he leapt back with his hands up and cowered. Then, when nothing happened, he quickly straightened up and cleared his throat, brushing off his shirt a little and pretending he wasn't flushing because dammit he wasn't so easy to scare!

Another groan had him skittering backwards across the sand. "Who-who's there?" he demanded, reaching anxiously for his gun only to remember he'd gone right from work to the bar, and hadn't brought it to work with him. Shit! "I'm…armed!"

Nobody answered, but there was a distressed whimper after a few minutes of silence. Had somebody been horribly mutilated and left to die? Damn, he didn't want to deal with that! Still, curiosity won out, so he crept a little closer to the rocky outcropping, alert should somebody come surging over the rocks to attack him.

Finally, he got close enough to peer over the rocks. They formed a loose circle formation that kept water in them at all times, almost like a tidepool. These formations occurred all up and down the beach.

However, this one was slightly unusual in that it had a mermaid in it.

He recognized it instantly. The same face, same blue eyes, same build and magnificent golden tail. However, there were also a few differences. An inflamed, nasty looking wound was lurking on the mermaid's shoulder, spidery black lines beginning to spread out in the tell-tale marking of blood poisoning. His skin had lost its healthy sheen and seemed to hang off his frame; more than that, his eyes were clouded and unfocused and the skin on his face and torso was dried and beginning to crack. "Alfred?" he gasped, and then, remembering their last meeting, "You fucker, how dare you try to kill me? I try to be nice and you damn near drown me?" Snarling with rage, he clambered over the rocks to…well, he wasn't sure what, but it would have been something drastic.

Alfred, however, flinched away from him, using one hand to try and scrabble across the rocks. His other arm, the one with the bad shoulder, hung limp and useless, and the little pool was too small anyway for him to go anywhere, so he ended up pressed against the rocks on the other side, tail thrashing uselessly in the shallow water as a low, distressed keen left his throat.

Romano frowned. Alfred didn't look well at all. The wound on his side seemed to have healed fine…in fact, there was no trace of it. So what had happened with the stupid bastard's shoulder? "What, your creepy mermaid magic didn't work on your shoulder?" he demanded, pointing at it with a sneer. Alfred flinched again and started talking in an odd, stilted language. When Romano came a little closer to hear, Alfred squeezed his eyes shut and cringed down.

It was honestly pathetic. It was worse than pathetic. Romano actually felt guilty for shooting the jerk in the first place, and then when he realized he felt guilty he also felt horrified with himself. The bastard had tried to kill him! Why should he feel guilty? "Alright, Alfred, c'mon. I'll give you ten seconds to get back into the ocean and I won't kill you and we'll call it a day."

Alfred opened his eyes and gave Romano the best puppy-dog eyes he'd ever seen. If he was Antonio, he probably would have gone into cardiac arrest over the 'cute.' Since he was, thankfully, NOT Antonio, he only felt worse about shooting the fucking _mythical mermaid_.

"Can't," Alfred whispered, and held up his hands, which were scraped raw and bleeding. Actually, so was the front of his torso. He had clearly tried to drag himself over the rocks at some point, and it hadn't worked. Romano, blinking at him, suddenly realized he was standing in water…in his work shoes.

"Fuck!" he yelped, and jumped backwards, clinging onto the rocks as he furiously shook his feet free of water. Alfred, wild-eyed, started scrambling again, making the strange keening. It got higher as he got more distressed. "Ow! Bastard, shut up, that's hurting my ears!" Romano snapped, and Alfred immediately stopped.

"Sorry," he muttered after a moment. Romano, busy sliding his shoes off and holding them up to inspect them, didn't respond, or really even look down. So he was in for a shock when he felt a cold, wet hand encircle his ankle. On instinct, he jerked it away, then realized it was Alfred and started flailing wildly.

"You bastard, don't you dare try to kill me again!" he screeched, scrambling up the rocks for safety. Alfred started babbling hysterical apologies and waving his hand around. Romano, meanwhile, went off in a tangent of wild Italian, gesturing and shrieking.

Alfred stopped abruptly and stared at him; then a bright grin unfurled across his face and he lunged towards Romano, looking excited. Romano, with a very manly wail, toppled from his precarious perch from the top of the rocks and landed with an 'oof' on the sand on the other side. A few seconds passed as he lay still, blinking at the sky. Then Alfred's face popped up from between two crevices, and he exclaimed, "Italian! Italian!"

"What the fuck?" Romano very eloquently asked.

"Italian Italian Italian!" Alfred insisted, pointing at Romano. "You speak it! Italian! You Italian! I speak can too!"

Romano noted in passing that when he got excited, he mixed up his words. "I…well, no fucking duh," he managed after a minute, when he realized Alfred seemed to harbor no ill will towards him. "I _am_ Italian. I was raised in Italy. Wait…how do _you_ know Italian?"

"I learned it! Many many times ago, a little girl taught me. We were friends!"

"Were?" Romano asked. "Did you drown her, too?"

Alfred blinked and slunk back below the rocks, muttering. Then his face popped back up and he said sulkily, "Accident."

"_What_?"

"There was a storm. She fell off dock. Tried to save her, brother fight me off, told me I couldn't." Alfred shrugged his shoulders. "Oh well."

"_Oh well_?" Romano shrieked. "You could have saved her! She died because of you!"

Alfred made a cat-like spitting noise and Romano shrieked again as he watched Alfred's nails shoot outward into claws. "I'msorrydon'tkillme!" he wailed, forgetting Alfred couldn't get out of the rocky tidepool. Then he remembered and he cleared his throat, straightening up. "Look, this hasn't been fun, but I need to go, so…um. Yeah. Have a good…life." Slowly he began to back away from the rocks, keeping a wary eye on the mer-thing, which was looking more and more anxious as he departed. Finally, just as he was about to turn, Alfred called out to him.

"Wait!"

Romano raised one eyebrow and stared at him. "What?"

"I…I am hunger," Alfred said carefully.

Oh, _fuck_ no. Feliciano already ate enough to feed a small army. Or a large one. "So eat some fish."

"None here." Alfred resumed looking pathetic. "Have been stuck for a whole _moth_."

"A whole moth." Romano repeated flatly. "Look, I honestly have no idea what you're trying to say, so-"

"Human time! Moth! One moth? Twelve moths in a year!"

"Oh, you mean 'month', you stupid bastard, and…what! A whole month? How are you still alive?"

Alfred shrugged. "Don't need to eat too frequently. But haven't eaten in a very long time because I couldn't hunt because I am hurt!" And he pointed to the wounded arm that looked very inflamed from all the recent activity.

Romano looked at the way his bones in his face were beginning to stand out, and at the way the wound was very clearly infected, and the way his brilliance was clouded and fading. He intended to turn around and go home. For some reason, his mouth took control as he turned, and said, "I'll be back with some food, bastard."

He was halfway down the beach when he registered what his mouth had said, and shrieked, "_WHAT_?"

….

A/N: Oh. This is so late. Oh well. Here is chapter two. It's kind of tragic because I'm trying to get the story rolling. My apologies.


End file.
